In a show of seasonal self-restraint

Today is Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us.  The time of year when we battle our heads-of-household in Feats of Strength, stare at an undecorated pole and participate in the Airing of Grievances where we let everyone know how much they have pissed us off this past year.

And many have pissed me off in various degrees. But I’m feeling sentimental so I will air but a single grievance this year.

As I write this, a little gray and black tiger striped kitten lays all tuckered out on my bed.  Or lies. I’m not sure which.

He has been hanging out in my room for the past few hours. My nine-year-old cat Maggie keeps looking at me as if to say “and when is his mummy coming to take him away?” No, she is not amused. But at least she’s stopped hissing at him for a while.

But even if Maggie will have nothing to do with him, at least he is stretched out all warm and safe indoors with good holistic kitten food and clean water.  About a week ago, this was not the case. My friend Becca found him shivering in the street by himself.

The grievance I need to air is with everyone who is responsible for him being there.

Everyone who has decided they cannot be bothered to spay or neuter their cats should kick their own arses for being so bloody ignorant. Everyone who has ever abandoned an animal in their care in the streets should spend the night freezing  in a dumpster fighting with countless other cats for a bit of garbage.

And those individuals (who for now shall remain nameless) at The Toronto Humane Society whose atrocities against those they were paid and entrusted to protect resulted in the whole operation shutting down and have resulted in the needless deaths of countless animals.  I hope you are shown the same compassion and mercy when your fates are decided, be it by the law or by karma.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2009/12/22/ths-warrant-search464.html

All right, grievances aired somewhat. Happy Festivus!

How to give more than “stuff” this season

I was all set to write out my list for the traditional Festivus Airing of Grievances (and not for fun, I really am going to a Festivus party), when it occurred to me that, oh yeah, this is the present-buying time of year too.

Whatever you celebrate (and I hope everyone has something to celebrate)  Kwanza, Yule, Yak Shaving Day or other, it all comes down to Annual Gift Day. Except for Festivus. Festivus doesn’t do presents.

I’m not going to waste time bemoaning the commercialization of the birth of Jesus. Charlie Brown continues to do that very well.

But if we have to make it mostly about exchanging gifts, we can at least think a little about the gifts we buy and try to keep them somewhat in the spirit of the season. You know, Peace on Earth- love your fellow humans-why can’t we all just get along…

The Big Box stores neither need or deserve your money. They employ business practices that violate what should be basic human rights. Plus they tend to attract the sort of shoppers that decent human beings want to avoid.  Meanwhile, small boutiques that carry ethically-made clothing and gifts don’t have the giant billboards required for scratching their logos into our brain like the major chains.

The great news is, there are so many ethical alternatives. It is entirely possible  to find that perfect gift for grandma or your mall-doll sister without supporting child labor or the Evil Empire.

And it’s not difficult. Heck, you can even shop in your rattiest pajamas thanks to the internet. All the better to avoid the craziness of other shoppers.

You can score some quality presents for your loved ones while benefiting humans and animals at the Animal Rescue Site Store (shop.theanimalrescuesite.com/store/site.do?siteId=310). They offer everything from pretty clothes to accessories to pet products. And for those on your list who have everything, there are “gifts that give more.” Who needs another pointless trinket destined to collect dust when you can help build a house for a homeless dog or protect girls from cervical cancer in developing nations?

If you must handle merchandise before buying, there are shops like 10,000 Villages (www.tenthousandvillages.ca) all over Canada. Stores like this sell all sorts of fair trade household items and jewelry, with a vast selection of holiday ornaments which are so much cooler than the stuff you’d find at Canadian Tire.

For that animal-loving treehugger on your list (*cough-cough*) check out Panacea: An Eco-Shopping Oasis (588 Bloor Street West, Toronto). Toronto’s first and only vegan shop features clothing, make-up, accessories, personal care products, books and a vast array of tasty animal-free sweets. And the shopkeeper is very cool.

Got a hard-core teenager (or even an adult) to buy for? Check out Global Aware (19 Kensington Avenue; globalfairtrade.ca ). They stock magnets, buttons, postcards and stickers bearing delightful slogans like “hemp, hemp, HOORAY!” and “Capitalism is Organized Crime.”

Not lucky enough to live in Toronto? It’s as simple as typing ETHICAL SHOPS + NAME OF YOUR CITY into a search engine.

And if you’re really stuck, there’s always American Apparel. If you’re really stuck, that is.

There are still two more shopping weeks until December 25, so go and spread some real joy. Now!